Senator Ted Stevens: “It’s a series of tubes”
I just about snorted my coffee out my nose this morning reading excerpts of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens’ risible testimony explaining his opposition to some very basic net neutrality principles.
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday.
That’s a helluva thing, when you think about it, sending someone “an internet”. Does he mean the bits, or the fiber and routers? And was it a whole internet, or just the backbone, or maybe a local loop? How big a truck do you need to carry an internet? I mean, depending on the size of the internet that his staff is sending, it’s probably not surprising it took a little time to get to him.
We get a clue to what he means a little later…
…Â the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.
It’s a series of tubes.
Got it… his staff sent him some tubes…Â Nudge, nudge, wink, wink…
Senator Stevens goes on to explain his opposition to net neutrality as follows:
And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Clearly he hasn’t got a clue about how packet networks work. It’s more like a highway millions of lanes wide, with 10’s of millions of on and off ramps, and each packet of data an individual driver. It most definitely isn’t like a garden hose, Senator. Moreover, there are millions of miles of optical fiber in the ground, not being used, because there hasn’t been a need to bring that capacity online.
Talk about falling prey to the entrenched interests of the ILECS. Â
It’s not really until you dig a little deeper that you understand why Senator Stevens is behaving the way he is. The press release put out by his office after the Senate Commerce Committee approved the Communications Reform Bill tells all:
Several provisions included in H.R. 5252 will improve the communications services available in Alaska. The Act reforms the Universal Service Fund (USF), a federal program originally created to offset the cost of building and operating telecommunications networks in rural areas of the United States. It expands the base of USF contributors and creates an annual $500 million fund to address communications needs in rural areas. These funds will be used to deploy broadband to areas that currently do not have service, including rural areas in Alaska.
I’m guessing there aren’t enough “tubes” yet in Alaska, and he’s hoping that by pandering to the interests of the communications lobby, he can get a few more built.
If this guy were just another backwoods hick having his say in Congress, then it might not be as much of a deal. Unfortunately, and this is what has Jeff Pulver so despondent, that’s not the case. Senator Ted Stevens is… drum roll please… Chairman of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation, which includes in its jurisdiction telecommunications. Here’s his bio:
A member of the Senate for 37 years, Ted Stevens is Alaska’s senior Senator. Stevens’ tenure in the Senate makes him the fourth-most senior member among his colleagues, and first among Republicans. Stevens holds the position of Senate President Pro Tempore. He also is the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation, which has oversight of the Departments of Commerce and Transportation. In addition, the Committee’s broad jurisdiction covers issues including telecommunications, fisheries, oceans and maritime policy, the Coast Guard, aviation (including the Transportation Security Administration), rail, highway safety, global climate change, interstate commerce, space, science, technology, economic development, trade, tourism, consumer issues, product safety, and sports.
One wonders how many other industries he’s similarly misinformed about.
All is not yet lost though. According to BusinessWeek Online, Stevens doesn’t have the votes to carry the bill in the Senate, and as a result it’s unlikely to face a vote this year. If you live in the US, and care about Net Neutrality, it’s time to focus on what’s happening in Washington.
July 5th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I think Senator Stevens might be a series of tubes. The line “[The Internet] is not a truck” sets the bar about as low as possible for public discourse on the issue before Congress. I can see them in committee weeks from now: “ok, we have established that the Internet is neither a truck nor a series of quotations. Next topic: How long, ideally, should it take to send somebody an Internet?”
July 5th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
It’s an astounding statement, isn’t it Dick?
July 5th, 2006 at 7:20 pm
I think this guy needs to be shoved into one of those tubes he’s refering to, and side tracked somewhere;
maybe to a truck stop in his beloved Alaska.
July 6th, 2006 at 12:09 am
If DO care about Net Neutrality write your legislators!
July 6th, 2006 at 8:36 am
[...] It seems the dismay over Senator Ted Stevens’ idiotic comments about the Internet last week has reached a critical mass. Here are a few of the best items I’ve seen, outside of the usual VoIP suspects. [...]
July 10th, 2006 at 11:56 am
[...] For those following the Senator Ted Stevens “it’s a series of tubes“ internet story, here’s a little more fuel for the fire. TVPredictions.com has learned that nearly 10 percent of Senator Stevens’ individual campaign contributions came from Rupert Murdoch, and employees of Murdoch owned companies, such as DirecTV, News Corp and FOX. They’ve also noted that Stevens’ telecommunication bill would heavily advantage satellite TV providers, at the expense of the cable companies. [...]
July 14th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
[...] Една от най-обÑъжданата тема в американÑките блогове през поÑÐ»ÐµÐ´Ð½Ð¸Ñ Ð¼ÐµÑец е мрежовата неутралноÑÑ‚,. ТоеÑÑ‚, Ñ‚Ñ€Ñбва ли да Ñе разреши на телекомуникационните компании да вземат такÑи от големи Интернет компании като Google и Yahoo, за да използват виÑокоÑкороÑтните им линии, за да Ñтигнат до потребителите Ñи или Интернет Ñ‚Ñ€Ñбва да Ñи оÑтане неутрална Ñ‚ÐµÑ€Ð¸Ñ‚Ð¾Ñ€Ð¸Ñ ÐºÐ°ÐºÑ‚Ð¾ доÑега. Речта на американÑкиÑÑ‚ Ñенатор Тед СтивънÑ, който защитава първата позициÑ, Ñе превърна в голÑм хит през поÑледните две Ñедмици пародирана безброй пъти. [...]
July 18th, 2006 at 11:54 am
[...] This blogger at least gets into the meat of the bill, pointing out that – like his famous work on the $223 million “bridge to nowhere” – Stevens is just trying to get more money for his constituents: an expanded Universal Service Fund that would put $500 million towards building broadband in rural areas like Stevens’s Alaska. Though some of this money will get spent in Alaska, the real beneficiaries will be the phone companies who will get to sell (closed) Internet service over the subsidized infrastructure. [...]
July 18th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
[...] It seems that potential future threats to open Internet access are obvious to relatively few. Last mile access is the real issue, but if the public is getting their information from Internet luminaries like Senator Ted Stevens, they will never understand the potential peril to their “tubes.†How do I explain to my Mom that she might be paying several extra dollars per month for an “eBay Token†on her Comcast bill someday? The idea that telcos could charge content providers like eBay, Google or Amazon more money for access to bandwidth, already paid for by Mom, is truly preposterous. The casual Internet user isn’t getting the message and the Net Neutrality debate never going to deliver it. [...]
July 21st, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Is this the same Ted Stevens who was taped picking his nose ad naseum during the Clinton impeachment hearings?
July 31st, 2006 at 2:08 pm
[...] For those of you slacking in your late night TV viewing and news consumption, you’re missing some theatrical mania on both sides. Advocates for neutrality — where all data on the Internet is treated exactly the same — seem to gain a foothold every time a confused senator shouts something about “A series of tubes” or fails to understand that “email” and “Internet” do not, in fact, mean the same thing: “I just about snorted my coffee out my nose this morning reading excerpts of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens’ risible testimony explaining his opposition to some very basic net neutrality principles. ‘I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday.’ “That’s a helluva thing, when you think about it, sending someone “an internet”. Does he mean the bits, or the fiber and routers? And was it a whole internet, or just the backbone, or maybe a local loop? How big a truck do you need to carry an internet?” (From Alec Saunders Log) [...]
July 31st, 2006 at 3:47 pm
[...] Mientras tanto, se dicen disparates a mansalva, si quereis leerlos aqui estan todas. Dios mio que elemento [...]
November 2nd, 2006 at 1:54 pm
[...] Clearly Robert Depatie has been spending too much time in Alaska. His arguments for why studios and content producers should subsidize his network were put forward by US Senator Ted “It’s a series of tubes” Stevens months ago. They’re just as wrong now as they were then. [...]
March 1st, 2007 at 9:24 am
[...] turns out that Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was at least somewhat right. For some companies, including hotel services provider LodgeNet, the internet IS a series of [...]